People always poke me and pat my head and say how adorably innocent and cute I am.
Honestly, I tell them to not tell me so, but they always do.
They ignore me like its some joke and they continue to poke me and treat me like a little doll.
I’d rather be taken seriously and not be treated like a child…. Its the more people paint this picture of this little girl, its the more people will believe I wont have a strong willed persona underneath. It’s so hurtful to still be called cute and little and adorable because its making me underestimated to the adult I can be.
I know everyone wants to grow up, but Im a senior now… I want to have the same respect just as everyone else. I’ve been told in heart to heart talks that no one can believe that I have solid emotions and anger underneath that face.
Im done with it. I really wish I looked differently, because if I did, I’d have “solid emotion” and be percieved as a thoughtful being that can hold onto responsability with a purpose. I hate being in this body, frail and delicate. I want myself to be shown through these bones, not against. Had I looked any different…..I might be a different person.
People always laugh when I try to talk to them seriously, they always shake thier heads and laugh ….
It seems that my sentimentalism isnt worth much in this place.., its a sign of weakness, a sign of a deteriorating person inside. Its even in the eyes of the people around me that turn away at this weakness when I open up.
I wish I didnt look like a child, I wish I could stand taller, I wish i could hold my own weight and not be able to see my bones. I wish people saw past the bandages on my arm and try to even understand. Even my best friend.